"Quickly identify and clear persistent, destructive, negative and stressful relationship patterns."
When intimate relationships begin, a collective of "bonding patterns" coalesce and usually define how we interact with each other. Many of these patterns, a blend of conscious and unconscious thoughts/emotions/beliefs/behaviors tend to create greater intimacy and connectedness early on in the relationship. As you and your relationship evolve and mature, many of these same patterns have, what I would say a limited shelf life... they worked for a while in the relationship... but then they do not. As both partners grow and change a bit differently, some of these same patterns remain 'stuck', 'unchanged' and can create conflict, stress, disconnectedness and discordance where we then begin to emotionally, mentally, sexually and spiritually withdrawal from our partner. If these 'discordant' patterns of the relationship persist as is, a relationship crisis will usually emerge where, in essence, there are only a few true choices .... 1. The relationship carries on in a state of 'constant background' stress where one or both of the partners will invariably shift and "collapse or capitulate themselves" enabling them to physically stay in the relationship but emotionally, mentally they are 'gone', dis-invested 2. The couple 'simply' separate or divorce and move on, or 3. The couple consciously choose to re-invent and re-pattern their relationship in ways where both individuals and their relationship needs are getting met, communication is enhanced, intimacy and connectedness are restored for the next stage of their relationship.
All three are truly tough choices. People carry on in "dead" relationships for a multitude of reasons, family pressure, economics, children, habituation, fear, ... This is a difficult place to be, where one surrenders one's self so to speak... either temporarily or permanently... While I have no judgements about this... it is important to know this is an ongoing "choice" in the now moment. 2. The separation and divorce can be very complex.. sometimes this choice is made when 'no future' or no expectation of change is envisioned, when no needs are being met or ever expected to be met, communication has broken down or when one or both partners have reached a place of 'contemptuousness' for the other... (Here, research indicates this is the point of no return.) Sometimes, one partner will have already chosen another partner and the shift can be quite quick, abrupt and devastating for the one 'left' behind. However, for a multitude of reasons, separation can be the 'best and highest' choice for the 'relationship' but unfortunately many times, the path of dissolution will usually leave one or both partners in transitional emotional/mental turmoil and chaos. (From continued personal session work experience, if one's previous personal emotional & mental bonding & transitional material is not 'cleaned up' and resolved, this 'stuff' will invariably affect one's next intimate relationship... In the long run, this material is very hard to compartmentalize!) 3. Re-inventing, re-visioning and re-patterning one's relationship is doable, but it can be challenging and difficult work. Both partners must be committed, courageous and vulnerable as both will need to address difficult aspects with in themselves... parent/child dynamics, judgmental/controlling/rejecting aspects of the negative ego, various shadow elements and so forth. These are the usually core, unconscious, unexplored aspects of our self that need to be healed... to be made whole.... This can be very challenging 'work', although their are few other paths and processes that offer multiple levels and layers of exceptional long term benefits for one's individual and relationship evolution!
Experience clarity, insight and relief through natural mindful, heart & body centered processes and conscious communication skills.
Clarity, insight and relief is usually felt when we consciously experience, in the moment, the unconscious patterns and dynamics that are running our relationship and our self. Mindful witnessing, experiencing and understanding the pattern(s) in play, in the moment, also opens the door for us to choose, or not, other ways of being in relationship with our self and in turn with our partner... Here a transformational inflection point with in the body naturally emerges where we can shift or neutralize the pattern and come through in new creative ways... The primary barrier here is usually some unconscious/semi conscious belief that evokes fear that perpetuates our 'stuck' patterning... Exploring our beliefs and feelings and relationship patterns through specific Conscious Communication techniques can quickly transform our inner and in turn outer relationship experiences. This process creates the potential to 'grow yourself up', to experience more empowered places with in your being and to allow for far greater love, intimacy and connectedness then ever before in your relationship.
A few things you can expect from couple's a counseling session.... A safe, non-judgmental, neutral witnessing and grounded space. Concrete, in the moment experiences of the relationship patterns that run your self/your relationship that will in turn allow for increased clarity, deeper insight and new understanding of your relationship patterns. Some things that will come to 'light', denied feelings, unconscious beliefs and energetic communication patterns and behaviors that create stress, discord and separation. As increased clarity unfolds, new perspectives and understandings emerge about your relationship, you are also given the opportunity to take the next step to choose/shift and find new creative ways of being in relationship with yourself and your partner. One caveat about this particular process... you will be 'engaged and challenged' (however not pushed), you will need to be 'courageous' (but you will be supported) and you will experience vulnerability (in a safe, grounded, non-judgmental, witnessing way).... Choosing to move beyond the familiar, relationship patterns usually leads to greater internal clarity, peace and personal empowerment within yourself, greater intimacy and connectedness with your partner.
(For additional information see my article, Couple's Counseling and Conscious Communication.)
A Body Centered Psychotherapeutic Approach to Individual, Relationship and Family Concerns and Experiences.
"Identify, feel and clear chronic or stuck patterns of stress, anxiety, negativity, fear, depression, self judgement, powerlessness, anger, victimization..."
"Experience clarity, insight and relief while you build and straighten your own mindful neutral witness, cultivate compassionate heart and body centered connectedness, attune to the deeper natural essence of who you are..."
All stages of life can present unique and difficult challenges. At any time, unconscious "patterns of the negative ego" or perhaps unresolved trauma can emerge and begin to dominate and affect our life in a multitude of ways. Many times these patterns are so strong we experience a kind of powerlessness in relationship to them as they seem to have a life of their own. Through an inherent, natural process of your consciousness, by grounding and amplifying your attention/awareness/energetic in a particular way into your body, a path of healing is presented. This 'present moment path' allows you to consciously experience the 'pattern in play' and it creates a 'door' through which you can choose to clear, neutralize or integrate into your being. The movement through the 'door' the 'feeling experience' will create the experience of relief and empowerment on the other side.
Collectively we all seem to share the very same negative ego patterns 'running our show', only when theses patterns are cleared, integrated/neutralized or dismantled does our true authenticity, love, power and creatively begin to emerge and unfold.
(For additional information see my articles, Fear & How your Personality is Structured Part 1, 2..)