The Relationship Mastery Guidelines has nine basic steps and is a Service to Others method based in the Law of One to cultivate God Sovereign Free Behavior, while reaping the mutual energetic benefits of experiencing more spiritual connection, and increased love and appreciation returning back from others to you. Without attachment or expectation this happens naturally when you follow some basic guidelines. In certain areas where we have asked for “spiritual growth” beyond anything else, we may have periods where we are undergoing deep testing to our personal truth and personal beliefs. Eventually we all are able to be in this world, yet not of it, and have fulfilling, loving and appreciative bonds shared with others, whether in groups or personal relationships.
Improving our Compassionate communication with others, improving our relating skills, personally and in group dynamics, is a skill set that will go a long way to serve your mission. With that in mind we set forth a few guidelines to remember when communicating with others or relating with others.
Nine Steps of Mastery
1. Self-Responsibility – Being able to own your own emotional conflicts without blame or projection upon another person by making it their fault. Do not assume that you know anything about that person that can be judged for what you cannot see or really know about them, as you have not walked in their shoes. When feeling upset towards somebody else, restore balance to your heart and aura by lovingly holding boundaries without violating others boundaries, by expecting them to resolve your conflict. Be willing and open to learn what the real issue is that has created the conflict. As most of the time, we're upset about something deep down from our own inner fears and it's not what it appears to be. By going deeper and reflecting on forgiveness of ourselves and forgiveness of others, while allowing the time and space needed to heal, helps to neutralize the conflict in most cases.
(Working with this a bit more... When we are emotionally triggered, learn to look at this experience as an inner healing opportunity. When triggered, there is a piece within signaling to you... Hey.. look here! There is something here you need to check out within to 'identify, locate, remove and repair/heal the root(s) of the triggered cause. Along with possible fear, this might be an unresolved emotional trauma experience or perhaps an unconscious expectation or belief of how things should be... rooting out things that trigger us... reduces emotional, mental and physical stress, increases our ability to be present and neutral in the moment and allows for increase discernment to be applied with the issue at hand. Bill Hodges)
2. Conservation - Being able to discern the right use of action harnesses precious time and life force so that we can all be more effective and impactful in our lives. Cultivate the wisdom of knowing when to engage and when not to engage with others in conflicting circumstances or dramas. No person needs to justify their existence or choices to another person or really needs to care what other people think of them. Attempt to stay clear of emotional drama or emotional tantrums by not engaging with them. It means that you do not feed the drama to escalate into chaos or further disruption. Dark energies and dark forces use emotional drama to instigate schisms and chaos between yourself and others. Making all of us especially in this spiritual family less effective by scattering our energies and generating more confusion. When we learn to conserve our energy, it means we have a stronger focus and one becomes more effective and productive in their lives. When we learn conservation skills, we actually gain more resources and a deeper connection with our spiritual source. If we waste time and we waste energy, we reach an energy threshold that cannot be increased or circulated. This potentially drains us and therefore dissipates the positive influence and positive frequencies we intended to circulate back into the environment. When we are scattered with our personal energies, this makes us less effective and impactful in the world.
(Truly, it is important to master and regulate the flow of our life force... Where do we truly want to focus our attention on and with whom? With whom and where do we want to consciously allocate our life force and limited time towards? Where do we want to withdraw it from? Intentionally re-balancing and re-directing our life, our behaviors will necessarily change how we are in relationship with our Self and in turn with others. What values and purpose are your relationships? Whom do they serve... and how do they serve? Bill Hodges)
3. Respond – In the moment, learn how to choose your response rather than react to life events, people and challenging circumstances. Reaction and impulses are subconscious programming and it mostly operates from a preconceived idea of fear or mind control. Observe the reactions inside of your body, in regard to yourself and others, and ask your body to show you the story of where the impulses are coming from. The memory that is behind the subconscious program of that reaction. As one learns to inquire about the reactions that you automatically generate, much is learned about our body consciousness and this can effectively be healed and cleared from continuing the reaction or trigger. Emotional catharsis techniques and much of the ES Core Triad practices include several steps to help release the story, clearing the memory from the body so it can return to a new pattern which is free of automatic and reactive pain. Choosing forgiveness, choosing kindness, choosing compassion and working on choosing self-love and self-acceptance is all a decision one has the power to make in every moment. By choosing your responses, you are gaining control over your self.
(This speaks to "Know Thy Patterns!" In all our relationships we tend to fall into a habitual response pattern. With different people, we usually have different habitual response, behavioral patterns that automatically kick in... this is very much so in our intimate relationships. Some of these patterns might work well for the relationship, some might not... and the ones that do work, you might find waking up one morning and it's shelf life has expired... When they expire, relationship stress will start to appear... but because this habits have become so entrenched... it can be a challenge to break the pattern! Personal and spiritual growth is very much about finding our ways through and beyond our unconscious, habitual patterns that don't serve us anymore. Bill Hodges)
4. Reverence – All beings have the right to exist and to co-exist. By learning there are mutual benefits present between all relationships and by respecting each person's right to exist is a demonstration of reverence for life. Reverence for life force and for God force in all of its aspects and in all of its permutations. We choose to avoid behaviors of criticism or presumption, or being disrespectful with harmful accusations in order to gain control or to manipulate others, such as by giving unsolicited advice or placing demands. Learn to live and let live.
(This further reflects the art of engaged detachment. The ability to 'agree to disagree' with out blame or judgement while remaining neutral in relationship. BH)
5. Humility – By knowing our place in the universe and the role we play, one acts in humility, knowing that all is a part of the God source. All is equal in the love of God and no being, no person is judged as better or worse, higher or valued more than any other. By acting from humility and from devoting yourself to spiritual service when you are called upon to do something, this is an action of stewardship in humility that you accept the job given. There is no self-entitlement given in spiritual service. Entitlement is a distortion of spiritual ambition and negative ego that feels superior to others. And if self-entitlement is left unchecked in leadership, it will result in a correction or what is known as a root downfall.
(Humility can be linked to the depth of Self acceptance one has for oneself, which in turn is reflective in how much acceptance they have of others. The depth can be reflective of how much one's Inner Judge has been extinguished. Pretty much all of us have this negative ego aspect called "The Judge" or in some perspectives, the Inner Critic. Usually this character, when it kicks in, can also be connected to the 'Tyrant'... This 'Judging Tyrant' will try to collapse another persons sense of power, confidence or sense of Self... as well as your own, power, confidence and sense of self... Whenever... just below our level of conscious awareness there is a sense of vulnerability or insecurity arising in the moment (yes one kind of trigger!), the "Judge" is there ready to pounce on someone... be it your partner, friend or yourself! We all need to neutralize this aspect of our negative ego for greater self acceptance and humility. BH)
6. Discernment – Without using ego judgment test the personal resonance of people, events and circumstances that you choose to engage with or exchange with, determining which is either aligned to your person or not aligned to your person, in that moment. There is no right or wrong answer, only personal resonance and choice. That answer may change continually in different timelines depending on when you ask the question and what powers of discernment are cultivated. Learning personal discernment builds our necessary boundaries to discover what is productive and supportive for fulfilling our spiritual path or not. Discernment allows for continual productive growth and for the effective use of our personal energies and focused attention. By upholding our personal boundaries and applying discernment towards all things that we focus our energy and our attention upon, we are more effectively managing our consciousness and life force.
(Discernment can natural unfold through neutralizing the emotional reactions of our inner Judge! BH)
7. Direct Knowing – By feeling in the moment what the energy is communicating, or what the environment is communicating to you, suspend linear thought and surrender mental chatter to feeling of what you know in that present moment of time. This is direct knowing, breathing in the moment, feeling the energy signature in the environment will open our higher senses to allow the energy to give our body impressions and information without words. When being present, higher knowing becomes connected with you at all times. What you know now in this moment is all you will ever need to move forward. Breathe and take in what is in front of you now as direct knowing. Every moment in the feeling of the direct knowing will be available to you in the present. Generally, we know much more in the feeling of the moment, than we mentally acknowledge ourselves for. Pay attention to what is in front of you. What does now feel like. Let the energy and the feeling response give information and insight to your heart and intuitive feelings.
(The 'Power of the Now Moment'... is amplified when our attention/awareness-soul/spirit is energetically connected and grounded inside the physical torso portion of our body. BH)
8. Surrender – By being present in the moment, and surrendering to the now, judgments and future expectations of others are completely dissolved. Every connection or personal contact holds an opportunity for growth and learning. Attempt to neutralize polarity thinking and division by asking for the deeper meaning, the needed change or lesson of growth that is inherent in a circumstance, especially one that appears or feels painful to you. Surrendering to the now moment and feeling the feelings, while holding unconditional love allows greater acceptance to neutralize painful or confusing situations. If we constrict in a defensive posture or hold on to defend the situation, it amplifies the negativity of that situation and makes that situation vulnerable to interference and superimposed wills. Learn to let go, and let God.
(This is probably one of the most 'healing ways of being' one can adopt... The context here is; what way of doing or being are you operating in 'control-doing v. surrender-being'. BH)
9. Be True to You – Honor your entire being and honor your life force, inquire and put forth the effort to know the contents of your heart and higher purpose for spiritual growth and only really give to others what feels joyful and aligned for your person. Do you not bargain yourself away or sacrifice your truth however, do not avoid tasks that build discipline of the personal character. Ask your multi-dimensional selves what they need to feel balanced and peaceful as you pay attention to your energetic and physical well-being. Generating love and kindness to ourselves as a loving but firm self-parent is a part of spiritual maturity. It is important to give generously to the inner child with acknowledgement and loving appreciation of witnessing the inner child's experiences.
(Cultivating the Authentic Self, honors your Self and becomes a loving model beacon for others. BH)